You have gone through the same vicious cycle for the last 20 years. Purchase a computer. Turn it on. Use it for a little while. And then, the first sign of a problem, like filling out a basic form, checking your email, or creating a simple spreadsheet, you turn the computer off, say that it’s broken, or go and buy another one.   

But then you get to the point where the task you were holding off on is due, and now your problem is everybody else’s problem. You have associated any computer task, simple, or not, with a headache.

Other people help you take care of the simple task, you promise to take care of it on your own next time, but in the back of your mind, you know that you’re not going to do it.  You’re only pacifying them because you can sense the resistance and frustration on their end.

And the resistance and frustration on their end is due to a transference of pain.  You are crossing boundaries and transferring what should be yours to someone else.

Needing an actual computer repair is one thing.  Performing simple tasks is another.  Because technology isn’t going anywhere, your inability to deal with the temporary pain is preventing growth and your elevation to the next level.

What you have failed to understand is that unless it’s your area of expertise, or your jam, whether it comes to learning something new, or doing a simple task, there is always pain involved in the process.  And part of that pain may include a headache, stomachache, back ache, etc.,

Along with that pain, you need to build confidence in performing the simple tasks that are required.  Confidence comes through repetition. Not starting and stopping or blaming someone else for what we won’t own.

When given the choice, our brains will choose pleasure over pain in any and every situation.

What you’ve failed to realize is that the more you resist areas that you are not particularly fond of, the more intense and quicker that unnecessary pain and stress run after you.  This is due to toxic beliefs systems and limited worldviews that come from your family’s love story garden.

Deal with the toxic belief system that everything you do should feel good.  Then, you can heal your family’s love story garden.